apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
