im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
worst night to have a conscience
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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