i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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