The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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