At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
