Me. At least after what I've been through.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
