SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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