Tell her she can't have a vagina
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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