I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
