She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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