would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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