I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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