I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
