That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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