There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
