i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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