You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
