So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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