no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
