That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
