You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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