So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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