You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Randomize
