you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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