Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I understand Curling. That high.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
