You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
