but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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