If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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