I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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