There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
