I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
