If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
