You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
