mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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