Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
