it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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