I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
