Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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