You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
