I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
