Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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