Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
