whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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