Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I am naked and annoyed.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
