scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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