maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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