I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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