Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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