You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
