You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
